It's easy to slip into a rut, and stop coming up with new things to do with your boyfriend. Couples get complacent, and it's a short trip from there to the dreaded "...taking for granted."
Paying Attention
One of the key things to remember when coming up with new activities to do together is that whatever it is, it is supposed to be fun for both of you. This means you need to pay attention to the things that he likes, and not just assume that whatever you like will be ok. If you're lucky, finding some common ground, some activity you both like, will be as easy as a conversation: "Hey, have you ever thought about hang gliding? I've always wanted to try it." "Really? Me too!"
If you're not lucky, though, you may run into the dreaded "eye roll...sigh" that is a sure sign that he's only going so that he'll have something to complain to his friends about later. This is not a bad thing; in fact, you might want to do him the favor of giving him the story ("I can't believe she took me to every bookstore in Madison, just to find that one book!"). However, another strategy would be to accompany the thing you want to do with another activity that you know he'll look forward to: "I thought we could go looking for that rare Neil Gaiman book I want, but take a route that makes us end up at that bar you like where the band you like is playing?"
Suddenly the trip becomes a journey with a mutual goal at the end, and even if you don't like the band, you can appreciate the time he spent with you by spending time with him.
Things To Do with Your Boyfriend You've Already Done
One way to find things to do is to revisit things you've already done, from a new perspective.
- Volunteer on the campus where you went to school.
- Take dance lessons in whatever genre of music you liked when you first met
- Go back to having a "first date" at the place where it actually happened - as if you were meeting each other for the first time. (Note: in this case, it's probably ok to go home with the guy you "just met".)
- Pick out one of your old favorite movies and find a DVD with a commentary track on it to watch together. Even better, download one of the "RiffTrax" - humorous commentary that goes along with many popular movies.
There's Nothing Wrong with Being Comfortable
One thing to NOT do is insist that the old familiar fun things aren't good enough, that you have to find something new. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the things you like - favorite meals, or enjoying watching series together. In fact, you can sometimes re-visit series as well. The advent of DVD box sets have allowed people to find series they loved as kids and watch them, top to bottom, together. There is often a feeling that just going out to a dinner and a movie is boring and humdrum. However, like any experience, it's only humdrum if you let it be. If you both build up the excitement of a movie premier, and go to it together, then go out and talk about the movie, good or bad, then it is a relationship-building experience.
Share Things Together
The gist of it all is to find things that increase the connection between you both. This does not have to be complicated; in fact, one of the easiest things to do with your boyfriend is a simple old-fashioned "make out" session. Not the physical familiarity of your current relationship - but that furtive handholding, stolen kisses, and even "What if we're caught?" mentality that makes new relationship energy so powerful. Pay attention to the things that bring you together, and you'll never run out of ideas.
