Many times, first-time relationship advice can be contradictory. You might find that the advice is going against your desire to spend every waking minute with the person and rush toward intimacy. Remember relationships are a balancing act. If your goal is to have a long-term relationship with someone, or maybe get married sometime, then managing a new relationship is very important.
Balancing Act
Relationships beginnings advice will often seem contradictory. That is because a new relationship requires delicate balancing. If you move too quickly, or too slow, you could end up ruining a good relationship. Keep this in mind as you read advice and as you progress in your relationship.
When Does a Relationship Begin?
Before a relationship begins, it has to officially start, but what causes a relationship to start? Is it after you've been dating a certain length of time, after your first kiss, or perhaps after saying "I love you"? Opinions vary and there is no right or wrong answer. Some couples will continue dating for a while and then one day they both realize they are in a relationship. Other couples slowly try and determine what the other person is thinking, never really discussing the status of their relationship.
The best tactic is to look for signs that you have progressed from dating into a relationship, and then communicate with your partner so that the two of you know what the other person is thinking. Some signs to look for include:
- Spending lots of time together
- No longer going on dates with someone else
- Not having to ask if he or she is available on Friday or Saturday night for a date
- Wanting your friends to meet your date
Once both partners know or understand that you are in a relationship, then you've officially moved beyond just dating.
Enjoy This Time
Starting a relationship is one of the most thrilling times, both in life and in your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It can be stressful of course, but you only go through this period once (with your current partner). With proper courtship, your relationship will reach its full potential.
Spending Time Together
You and your sweetheart need to spend time together-but not too much time. This is part of the balancing act. There is a natural tendency with a new love to spend all your time with him or her. Along the way you end up forgetting about your hobbies and even your friends and family.
Spending time apart will keep the excitement level high as you both anticipate seeing each other again soon. You'll also be able to easily interpret your true feelings for your partner. When you are away, do you feel refreshed by freedom, or sad about being apart? When you are separated from your new love, use the time to maintain your other relationships and spend time doing things you enjoy.
You Might Get Hurt
A sad fact of dating and relationships is that you risk getting hurt emotionally. If you've been hurt in the past, you will likely feel apprehensive as you start a new relationship. While it is understandable to feel this way, being too defensive around your new partner could stifle your relationship.
Explain to your boyfriend or girlfriend how you've been hurt in the past, so they will better understand your feelings, but then try and move on.
By opening up you could get hurt again. Although eventually you'll find the right person and your relationship pain will be a faint memory.
Intimacy
Many couple will rush right past their first kiss and advance to sleeping together. This may not always be the best thing to do, however. Intimacy is easily confused for love, which could lead to you being in a relationship based on intimacy alone. Discuss with each other your physical expectations and even your past experiences. Take your time building up the intimacy. Make sure the emotional part of your relationship is ready to match the physical part.
Relationship Beginnings Advice: Dating
Even though you are now a couple doesn't mean you stop dating. At this stage, however, dating should be seen as both a way to have fun together and to explore each other's personalities and reactions to various situations. Try and pick a wide variety of dating activities. Doing the same thing over and over won't help you decide if you want to continue your relationship.
Seek Outside Advice
The emotional high you experience with your boyfriend or girlfriend can easily blind you from the truth. Ask your friends and family what they think of your new partner and whether they've noticed any changes in you-either positive or negative. Your friends may be able to see that your relationship isn't very solid, or they may see even before you do how great it's going. Whatever they tell you, know that they are an excellent source of free relationship advice.
Conclusion
Every relationship is different. Use relationship advice to guide you, but don't be bound by it either. Only the two of know what you are feeling and experiencing. Use that knowledge to ultimately guide your relationship.
