Hearing first time lesbian stories from women started out as almost a ritual between close friends. As cultural acceptance of lesbians has grown, literature, television, and film has also explored this theme ranging from the first kiss to a lifetime relationship.
Complications of Being a Lesbian
One of the things that makes first time lesbian stories so captivating are the obstacles and challenges that they often present. In the U.S. especially, homosexuality has been at best ignored and at worst persecuted up until recent decades. This makes it incredibly difficult for women, young or old, to identify, process, and integrate the feelings of being a lesbian into their life.
Unless a woman has some kind of role model or support structure tolerant of lesbianism, they are probably going to feel that their emotions and sexual urges are somehow bad, and feel guilty for them. Often when a lesbian first identifies the feelings of attraction and romantic love for other women, she will try to deny and suppress them. Even if this is successful (and biological urges are notoriously hard to overcome) it can cause great stress psychologically and physically. Part of the importance of sharing these "coming out" stories is so that lesbians can feel a commonality in overcoming shared challenges. It validates their personal struggle, and helps them heal from the pain of realizing their true selves.
Lack of Support
Often these feelings are seen as wrong or unnatural, and when a lesbian tries to share them with those she trusts she runs the risk of being rebuked and ostracized. In other cultures, especially in the Middle East, the intolerance can be so strong as to be life-threatening, but even in the U.S. there are many stories of lesbians being ridiculed or physically threatened or beaten simply for being themselves. These stories are shared now through many forms, but especially on the Internet. Aside from the ubiquitous titillation of many sites with fictionalized first time lesbian stories written for erotic content, there are more realistic first-person accounts of the moment when a lesbian comes to the moment of self-realization and acceptance. In one collection of Coming Out Stories, both men and women "share their stories of self-awareness and discovery, no two stories exactly alike, but all remarkably similar in that *lightbulb* moment of realization, 'Yes, I am gay.' "
Aside from the principle that shared pain is lessened, sharing these stories both happy and sad with each other also firms the resolve of lesbians to help others not have to go through similar tragedies. It is part of the reason for so much activism by lesbians, gays, and their allies. More and more lesbians coming-out stories are positive, whether from parents who re-affirm their unconditional love for their daughter or from friends and new lovers who see the young woman finally come to this actualized understanding of her sexuality.
First Time Lesbian Stories in Pop Culture
With this much emotional lesbian drama involved in the stories of a lesbian's first time, it's no wonder that there have been many songs, plays, movies, and even television shows about it. What's interesting is the variety of ways in which they are portrayed. For example, a very famous song title is "I Kissed a Girl" - but the fact is, there are two versions of the song. One, by Katy Perry, with lyrics that tell of how taboo, forbidden and unnatural the act was, and is almost universally despised by the gay community and their allies for the way it reinforces homophobic stereotypes. On the other hand, Jill Sobule wrote a hit in 1995 that was a much more positive and realistic account of dealing with lesbian feelings for the first time.
Mainstream movies usually show the more negative aspects - such as Cry Baby or Aimee and Jaguar, or portray the lesbians as villains, such as in Wild Things. Television has done a much better job at portraying the complexities involved, with episodes of Ellen especially dealing with her own coming out - both in the fictional storyline of the series as well as in her role as a TV star.
These lesbian love stories are as much a part of the human condition as any love story or personal account, and enriches everyone by the sharing.
